Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
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So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
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Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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