Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
