plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
