I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
