when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
