he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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