Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
