he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
