Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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