but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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