Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
