I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
