Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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