His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
