I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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