You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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