dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize