brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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