I can tuck mytits in my pants
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize