he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
