Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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