My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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