i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need a beard to bite.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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