I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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