I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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