dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
