he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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