i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
