Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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