Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
