If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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