but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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