this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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