im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
