I don't think brook has ever known best
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
