I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
