Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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