I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
there was a trapeze. enough said
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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