if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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