Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
