So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
