Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
