it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
