The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
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How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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