i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
