oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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