if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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