she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
