I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize