then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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