I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
