how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
