i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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