I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
