Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
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I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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