Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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