he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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