Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
