After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
