it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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